A Month of Motherhood.
Aaaaaaaaaaand we're back! I've taken the past month off from the blog to, you know, adjust. To life with a baby. But I am finally starting to get some sleep (keyword: some) and I've missed writing and this wonderful community of wonderful readers (that's you!)
The past month has been the biggest shift in my life. A bigger shift than getting married and moving in with a boy. A bigger shift than moving to a different city (more than once) and "starting over". This has been the big one. Laboring and delivering this child was no joke, but the responsibility for another human's life? That's hefty. That's not the kind of thing you want to screw up. But when you're new at it, you have NO IDEA how to keep another human alive. Especially when they're tiny (well, mine is sort of tiny), and rightfully needy. Feed them? Change them? Um, get them to go to sleep?! How does one do that?! Perhaps for some ladies, knowing how to care for a child is innate. But I was never the babysitting type. I was never an ooey-gooey baby-loving person. I never wanted to hold other peoples' babies, I was just fine looking at them from here, thanks very much. I'm the kind of aunt that never changes diapers, I just like to give presents and play with them until the tears set in (too intense!) This isn't a secret. And I don't feel all that bad about it (although my sisters might wish that I wanted to change their kiddos diapers a bit more.) However, I see that there are some benefits to being aware of baby-ish things before you actually have one of your own. Because PEOPLE. I'm pretty clueless.
Well, I should say I was clueless. The past month has felt like a college crash-course. Stevie and I have been soaking up every experience, attempting to trouble-shoot our child's needs and identify the "what" and "why" for every noise he makes - it is a stupendously serious learning curve. It has been awesome and sometimes a little bit awful. But we have laughed and marveled at our sweet son way more than we have cried. So that's positive. But there are a few things that I have learned this month... mostly to just BE OKAY with this hilarious, humbling process of becoming a parent. Hopefully, a good one :)
What I've learned in the Past Month of Being a Mom:
- It's okay to wear your maternity clothes post-birth. In fact, you probably have no other choice. Yes, you might have lost twenty pounds in the hospital, but there still isn't one thing in your closet that will fit your bod. AND THAT'S OKAY. Rock those maternity sweatpants. Yes, rock them for weeks.
- It's okay if your baby projectile poops all over you. It's organic.
- It's okay if your baby pees all over you. More than once in a day. He's just spirited.
- It's okay if the most glorious part of your day is when you get to take twenty minutes to yourself to take a shower. Note: I remember hearing this from a lot of moms when I was pregnant, and I honestly thought it was the saddest, most pathetic thing. Taking a shower? Like, that's a luxury?? Sad, sad women. Well, I stand corrected. TAKING A SHOWER IS AWESOME FUN. I think I will go take one now.
- It's okay to commandeer your baby's burp cloth as a tissue for your tears because HE WON'T STOP CRYING. Your tears are bigger than his tears, so you need that burp cloth more than he does.
- It's okay to feel mad at your husband for going back to work after paternity leave. Yes, I know he has to work to support us. Yes, I know he has to actually sleep at night in order to actually work the next day. I know all of this. I'm just still mad.
- It's okay if you feel quarantined from the real world during those first few weeks. That's because you are. But you're healing and you're getting to know your little smoochy-poo. All is right in the world. Just be okay with it.
- It's okay to online shop at Baby Gap on your phone during those late-night baby feedings. Oh wait, maybe that one is not okay...
- It's okay if you feel like you are using too many wipes and diapers. How many wipes does it take to change a diaper? Sheesh I don't know. Like 15??
- It's okay if your husband thinks you're using too many wipes each time you change a diaper.
- It's okay to send your husband to the store multiple times in a week to buy more wipes.
- It's MORE than okay to eat your heart out. Literally. Nursing a baby depletes all your energy and you need the calories. So eat up! But I mean, make it good stuff. Because your baby is suuuuuper impacted by everything you consume.
- It's okay to cry a lot. Like, a whole lot. YOU ARE NORMAL AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
- It's okay to take a lot of time to process your labor/delivery experience. I still am. Things never go as you planned. Talking to people about it really helps.
- It's okay to drink wine now. HURRAY!
There is more to be said, but as the post has gotten lengthy I will just sum up. It's all okay. It's just going to be okay. Okay? K.