Underaccomplished and Overjoyed.
I don't know about all of you, but this Christmas season has been a complete blur for me. The exhaustion mixed with the to-do lists mixed with the incredible guilt of GETTING NOTHING DONE has led to a lot of purchasing on Amazon - sorry to all of you on my list this year! If Amazon doesn't ship it, then I don't give it!
But aside from all of that, I really am trying my best to slow down (seriously, I don't think I could go any slower), live in the moment, and soak up all the Christmas joy around me. And be okay with it. My baby is only going to be this age once. I have to keep reminding myself that. (Someone also reminded me that I have the same amount of hours in a day that Beyonce has. That dreaded thought is probably what urged me to write this post. What a terrible reminder of my underaccomplishments. I mean, Beyonce met the ROYALS this week.) But you know, sometimes you've gotta just lay aside your lists (or in my case, a scroll the length of the Torah) in order to enjoy that good cup of coffee while watching the baby drink in the wonder of the lights adorning the tree. Remember when that was the magic of Christmas? Just laying beneath the tree, staring up into all the evergreen, spindle-y branches and catching glimpses of the twinkle, twinkle, twinkle? Dreaming of what Santa (or in my case, a total Santa non-believer, what my parents) would bring this year? Helping my dad shop and wrap all the gifts for my mom (which we always did completely last minute on Dec. 24th). Wearing my pajamas inside out in hopes of snow (I didn't really ever think it would work, but my baby sister Rachel was so certain it would). Trying my hardest to stay up late on Christmas Eve in hopes of forcing myself to sleep in a bit later. Because I was always the one waking up too early. (So early that it annoyed the inside-out pants off everyone in my family). Yep, that was the good stuff.
That can still be the good stuff. I think.
So I've got a fun exercise for today. I urge you to set your list aside (just for today!) and remember what it felt like to be a child. Close your eyes for just a minute. Remember the things that excited you about the holidays. Before the hype of Black Friday and Cyber Monday and all the other consumer-centric days of hectic frivolity. Remember the exhilaration of getting out of school for winter break. Remember the awesome fun of playing with your cousins after extended family meals. Remember the scent of your kitchen while mom baked all sorts of special treats. Remember praying to God (and bargaining with him a bit) for that Super Nintendo/American Girl Doll/Insert-your-item-of-choice-here to be underneath the tree. Are you having trouble remembering what it felt like to be a kid? Then I encourage you to go talk to one. A child, not a goat (ah, kid humor. I digress.) Ask them what they're excited about this year and why.
Because I'm getting absolutely nothing done. On the accomplishment scale, I am certain everyone else in the world is winning at holiday life. Beyonce especially (did I mention she met KATE MIDDLETON this week?!) But watching my own child has helped me just be okay with that. Because I'm beginning to remember the simple sweetness of Christmas. The charming wonders. Being a child at Christmas is more than magical. It's more than just cute. Children are the purest little carriers of hope and bubbling-over joy. And I think it's time that joy made it's way back into our whacked-out version of "the holidays".
But for the record: Santa, if you do exist, all I want for Christmas is my sleep back. That would be the best. K thanks.
Also, stay tuned! Starting Friday I will be counting down the days to Christmas with my "12 Days of Christmas" posts!